The problem with writing a new book is that you save all the good stuff for the book and that leaves you with nothing for the blog. So in desperation, I’ve been clicking on random links from Onion crawlers to see if there’s anything new, relevant and/or even vaguely interesting happening in the deep dark web.

Here’s a glimpse of where that little experiment took me.
Get in quick for the October 1 Dark Red Room Show
Yes, for those who missed out on their September 17th and September 24th show, you have another chance! One reviewer of an earlier show give it 5 Stars! (Though you have to wonder if they exaggerated because they admitted they get a discount for the next show for the good review). That’s much better than the review I gave the ISIS Red Room (not enough bacon).

But if you missed it and are convinced by the glowing review (“the video was very high resolution and didn’t buffer . . . I noticed there was plenty of evidence to reassure the viewer that it was live and not pre-recorded“) the next episode of torture, murder and a gynaecologist wielding power tools (running time 45 mins unless subject expires sooner) is scheduled for October 1.
Slight catch – they want half a Bitcoin up front to watch the action. But they get that you might not be flush with the old cryptocurrency, so they are willing to take “any reasonable amount” and let you watch a pro rata amount of the action.
You can’t ask for better terms than that. Jump on this bargain before its sold out.
Can’t keep a good hitman down
Dear old Yura, admin of Besa Mafia, was probably confused as hell when he woke up one morning to find himself locked out of his site, which was redirecting to infodealer.org and sporting a nice new graphic:

But as we discovered after the hack, Yura has quite the energy and now a new site has appeared sporting the same quirks in English-as-a-second-language and flamboyant promises to get rid of that thorn in your side. This time, instead of the Albanian mafia, it’s being touted as a “private military company”. Oh he’s so sneaky, that Yura!

His list of services is pure poetry and include killing people (with or without bodyguards, all the way up to a Big Boss “with many bodyguards”), kidnapping, stealth work (I particularly like “kill someone and blame another”), Heavy Work (which includes “exterminate an armed band” – won’t somebody think of the Tuba players?) and injure common or important people (but not a Big Boss – it’s kill him or nothing).
I have to give him his due, he is persistent and it is nice to see he has expanded his services.
Become a US Citizen
Another one you’ll have to get in quick for is SOL’s Official Citizenship. These are genuine documents, they are NOT FAKED and have even been sold to a big political adviser dude. But they are limited to just six Citizenships per month! BETTER CALL SOL to have that sweet sweet Green Card in no time.

Templar Knights
Templar Knights is just another market for cloned credit cards, paypal accounts and western union accounts, but it has a really cool design
The First Rule of Drug Club is…

Onion Identity Services
There’s nothing particularly special about Onion Identity Services, I just love how they put Canadian passports in the bargain bin with Lithuania.
Got a hot stock tip?
Someone’s trying to get an Insider Trading forum going. I know this was an oft-requested service on the darknet markets, but I very much doubt it is getting much use. It’s one of those things that’s in there with the fixed matches sites – why would anyone with the juicy info share it with random dark web strangers?
In any event, to gain entry, you have to have a stock tip on a public company that’s not publicly known (you know, like inside information) so if anybody has one, please let me know and I will tell internet strangers about it to get into the cool club,
Chat with Strangers
Chat with Strangers is like a dark web chatroulette. Some very creepy people want to chat anonymously but mostly it is just a whole lot of:
“sup”
“not much, you?”
“same”
” . . . ”
” . . . ”
click Next
For that special couple
I amused myself with imagining what sort of things might be on the Dark Registry. Maybe the bride-to-be is after a shrunken head, or the groomsman might have a penchant for a new sex slave or 5 minutes as Director in a red room. There could also be the option to donate towards the kidney fund – raise enough and somebody’s going to wake up in a bathtub of ice, but at least Great Aunt Agatha will make it to the wedding.
Sign in and go choose a gift for the Soylent Cake Wedding, the Hitmen & Drugz wedding or the Hack the Planet Wedding.
Eye bleach stuff
Yeah, it was there. No, I’m not gonna blog about it today. Yeah I wish I never found out what that acronym stood for.
***
Hope you enjoyed this little tour through that wild and wacky dark web. Let me know if you find any interesting sites in the comments
AD: If you’re thinking of a VPN, you should totally get IPVanish . For smart DNS, go for Overplay.
5 Responses
Hey Eileen! Good to see you blogging again! I was wondering – I’m starting a “darknet dictionary” on my blog (similar to the one on Deepdotweb), and if you have any terms to contribute, would you leave them in a comment? Thank you!
Heya. I’ll try to think of some 🙂
Oh thank you very much!
Say…you wouldn’t happen to have time for another quick interview would you? I’m writing for Deepdotweb now and they might be interested. (Might be a way to promote your new book too!) Ha ha.